That guy

This article or section is EXTRA heretical. Prepare to be purged.

This article is about something that is considered by the overpowering majority of /tg/ to be fail.
Expect huge amounts of derp and rage, punctuated by /tg/ extracting humor from it.

"Anybody could be That Guy."

– Abba - Dancing Queen

That Guy is the /tg/ version of Scumbag Steve, but somehow he's worse. Jesus. Christ.

Not EVER to be confused with This Guy because This Guy is great.

That Guy Checklist[edit]

That Guy never brings his own food, and always steals everyone else's.

That Guy always always does loud and bad imitations when he plays. K-Booom! Dakka-dakka-dakka! Vroom-vroom!

That Guy has a real-world, out-of-universe political agenda that they can’t leave at the door and will inflict upon everyone in their immediate vicinity. If you have a problem with that, you’re somehow the asshole who needs to be forced to bend the knee or leave. When a DM, they'll pick a game or setting that conforms with their ideology, and if they can't, they’ll shoehorn it in, canon (and sanity) be damned. These assholes appear from across the spectrums of political ideology and autism, and in all flavours of fail. Common garden varieties are often referred to by such terms as:
- SJW
- /pol/tard
- Naziboo
- Tankie

That Guy always smells bad and wears clothes that expose his overweight asscrack.

That Guy inserts his creepy fetishes into everything, and is the reason men are banned from playing women in your group. He feels no shame in exposing his deepest and most twisted desires in front of a room full of his peers, in fact actively craves the opportunity to do so.

That Guy never shares his Cheetos if he ever brings any and he always gets orange dust all over everything. He doesn't clean his hands off before touching YOUR minis and books, either.

That Guy will always bring so much cheese to the table that the other players instantly become lactose intolerant and choke ~~(fun fact, cheese doesn't have much lactose so this probably wouldn't happen. ALSO, choking IS NOT a symptom of lactose intolerance)~~ BECAUSE THAT'S HOW BAD HIS CHEESE IS.

- That Guy will buy (not paint) a cheese^[1] army, and calls it balanced, and fluffy, just to sell them as soon as it is not cheese anymore, stating it is too weak to be playable and anyway, it's not even fluffy — and to buy a new, cheese army which, of course, is "balanced, and fluffy".

Whenever That Guy opens a Discord server for a game he's a fan of, he'll quickly turn it into an absolute dictatorship centered around him being a dickass.

That Guy never bothers to learn the rules, but will happily crash play to a halt every single turn.

Alternately, That Guy will exploit every loophole in the rules to his advantage or require an utterly anal level of rule following whenever it suits him.

That Guy will try to fight against the party and consider himself clever (because he's "winning"), but will ragequit when the party kills him.

That Guy always has to play a third-party race and class or a homebrew, either of which are going to be horribly overpowered.

That Guy has a tendency to get really mad over nothing or make everyone else mad over nothing.

That Guy fires into melee combat without the proper feats and abilities.

That Guy will refuse to heal/buff you or cover you in combat, instead preferring to watch you die so he can take your stuff (or steal the glory for himself)

That Guy plays an all Imperial Knight list in a friendly environment without announcing it and expects everybody to be fine with it.

That Guy doesn't just not paint his miniatures, he actively insults you for doing so. That, or he paints them too much and then insults your paint job.

That Guy asks to see his friends' spare parts, takes them, and does not give anything back.

That Guy will play terribly on purpose to grief his team for fun, but he'll insult you if you're not optimizing everything possible.

When That Guy attends Magic: The Gathering events, such as a prerelease, he will pay for entry, take the rares from the Prerelease Kit, and leave. Shop owners HATE That Guy.

That Guy will often tell you he can forge swords when he, in fact, lacks a basic understanding of chemistry.

That Guy will complain about how bad Oblivion and Skyrim are and says that Morrowind is the best TES game, when in fact he has never finished, nor played, the original two or spin-off games.

That Guy will move 30 Zombies with eyeball measurement and maybe knock several over in the process, but requires his opponent to measure each mm perfectly, especially for charging.

That Guy will gladly demolish a new player while pretending to be overly nice, but rages like hell when he tries a new game and sucks and blames everything on either the rules or the other players' failure in explaining.

That Guy will ALWAYS find a way to "prove" why this unit or that card of your army/deck is not good.

That Guy will complain about you taking too long on your turn, but run out the clock when it's his turn.

That Guy will gladly accept a cocked dice when it's beneficial for him as long as nobody notices, but will unleash neckbeard-rage-hell on you if you even accidentally count one slightly cocked as a success yourself.

That Guy usually hides dice rolls, states all were successful, and picks them up quickly, before anyone could see them — just "to run the game quickly".

That Guy will try to use the setting as a vehicle to push their ideology, even if they have to change it.

That Guy will continue to invite himself over to hang even after you finally kicked him out of the group.

That Guy will ruleshark every move you make but will flagrantly disregard the rules, or make up rules hoping for your ignorance to carry him.

That Guy runs the Local Game Store and won’t allow you to use Forgeworld minis.

That Guy shills for corporations like EA and defends their every decision, no matter how awful.

That Guy is the person who tries to "win" D&D.

According to That Guy, you didn't win because you were the better player. He was obviously distracted or out of practice of course, and lets you know he would have won if he wasn't.

That Guy moderates over at 1d6chan and about three other wikis and forums. And he does it for free.

That Guy is sponsored by RAID: Shadow Legends.

That Guy will buy new models and sell them on eBay at ten times the original price.

That Guy will play a Kender character if he gets the chance to.

When given access to his party's shared supplies, That Guy will make sure to waste limited supply and valuable items on stuff that absolutely does not need their usage. If the party has shared currency, it's going to be spent within 15 minutes of reaching a town.

That Guy will take hard to replace/irreplacable items and lose them in the most glaringly idiotic ways.

That Guy will insist on carrying stuff that shouldn't be risked by his combination of character, equipment, and skills (ingame and out of game).

That Guy will make up new rules or lie about existing ones on the spot when he gets outsmarted.

That Guy will shift pieces on the game board/table out of place and claim it was always like that.

That Guy will find extremely contrived and implausible ways to kill off characters the players like (or their characters' family members) just for the sake of cheap shock value, even outside of "anyone can die" campaigns.

That Guy does anything I don't like.

Hey... FUCK THAT GUY!!!

THAT FUCKING GUY.

And the worst part about That Guy? We all see a little of ourselves in him... and shiver in disgust. The one good thing that That Guy does is move us to be a little better than we are… lest we end up like him.

That Group[edit]

Sometimes, a bunch of That Guys come together to form That Group, a group that only That Guys will tolerate being a part of. The worst part of That Group is that the That Guys that are part of That Group will use its existence to justify their actions to other groups.

The Lament of Humanity[edit]

The Ultimate example of 'That Guy'-hood has been achieved. The summit will never be reached by any other. The story of the Marty-Stu, Ao-Sue, Chief-Circle, or "That guy as a GM using a 'universal' homebrewed system across several games". And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Ladies and Gentlemen, read the tale of the one true That Guy... and despair/laugh.

The main blog where the tale was told: [1]. An anon trains his write-fagging by ranting about Marty in "The Sue Files": [2]. "The Sue Files" Part 2: [3]. "The Sue Files" finale: [4].

To summarize; the BBEG of ALL Marty's campaigns is an alternate universe version of himself who became a psionic/vampire/shapeshifter that dual-wields lightsaber katanas. Due to having a psychic connection with his other-self, the BBEG can use OOC knowledge to warp reality around the players and thwart their plans (DM changes the setting on the fly to make his railroad as tight as a Dark Eldar's asshole).

He does this in order to bring "Peace" and "Order" to the multiverse by making a setting as horrible as possible and thus his self-insert will be heralded as their Messiah (or their next Mohammed… you WISH I was fucking kidding).

A taste of Marty's retardation beyond the obvious: Using a d20 system, Marty measured his own real life INT score at 18, and made it so that none of the characters being used by the players in his games had an INT higher than that. If the players came up with an idea for something complicated/scientific that he didn't know about off the top of his head, he could say "Your character isn't smart enough to know that or think of that". This man, with "18 INT", thinks that carbon dioxide doesn't dissolve in water (while holding a Mountain Dew), that sniper rifles are the same as heavy pistols (just bigger but otherwise same force/impact/etc), and the coup de grâce:

"Genes are like muscles dude, the more you use them the more you get! Then those get passed down to your offspring, like how giraffes have long necks!"

Yes, he somehow thinks that using genes somehow makes more genes, and that more genes is better. All hail the mighty onion. Also, that Lamarckian inheritance is still a valid model of biology. 18 INT our collective asses.

In Short[edit]

If you are That Guy, have fun instead of focusing on winning so much. Part of the fun is learning and adapting your strategies, not just jumping from one thing to the next because it wins stuff. Don't be That Guy. If you are That Guy, don't be That Guy anymore. If you're the DM, either talk to them beforehand or boot them before they can do any harm. If you're a player in a group ran by That Guy, either convince him to tone it down or just find another group.

That guy

Contents

That Guy Checklist[edit]

That Group[edit]

The Lament of Humanity[edit]

In Short[edit]

See Also[edit]

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