Bretonnian Truffle Hound
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 | This article contains something which makes absolutely no logical sense, such as Nazi Zombie Mercenaries, Fucking Space Orangutans, anything written by a certain Irish leper or Robin Crud-ace, or Wizards of the Coast hiring the fucking Pinkertons over a children’s card game. If you proceed, consider yourself warned. |
- – Truffle hunter moments before getting a nasty surprise.
Bretonnian Truffle Hounds are ugly-ass dogs used by Bretonnians to find truffles. Only the males can smell them, oddly, and if they eat the truffle, they become paranoid of other male beings, even non-Truffle Hounds, wanting to steal all the female Truffle Hounds from them. Then they attempt to bite off your junk. No, this is not a joke, this is real lore.
Let me explain just how batshit insane these dogs are. You, an average truffle hunter who just got his license, are looking for something you can't even smell, so you buy a particularly angry-looking dog. The owner gives you a collar with a chain and a spike to put on the ground. Surely, there's nothing you need to be worried about, right? You're wrong, because if that dog sniffs a truffle, you best have a firm grip on the leash. If he starts digging the ground, you better hope you carried enough heavy logs, because you need all your strength and a few prayers to the Lady to pull the dog out and put a spike on the ground so he stays put. What are you gonnna do? wait until the truffle surfaces? Wrong. you're gonna have a bad time, unless you're friends with the blacksmith and asked for a sturdy codpiece.
The noble who's banging your sister has a trick up his sleeve. As soon as the dogs get excited, the nobleman drives the spike into the ground and sends the other dog somewhere else. And what does he do? dig where both dogs' lines of sight of vision make an X, because he learned from a skeletal Border Prince that X always marks the spot.
If you thought finding the truffles was difficult, then storing them is another problem. You have to store the truffle in cheap alcohol to get rid of the scent. Any tools you used must also be washed in whatever old swill you sunk the truffle in too, because these hounds will sniff you like cocaine.
Despite the fact that Chaos and the Empire have both been using Warhounds since, well, the game began, the truffle hound is actually not one of Bretonnia's traditional units in the wargame. They instead debuted in the 2nd edition of Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, the one made by Green Ronin Publishing using the 6th edition Warhammer lore as its basis, and are among the many never-mentioned but weirdly fitting oddball critters to appear in the 2e Bretonnian splatbook "Knights of the Grail".