Arianka

From 1d6chan
Jump to navigationJump to search
A modern representation of Warhammer's personification of pure laziness before being hit with a strong dose of magic sleeping drugs; art done by Ruoxin Zhang.

'SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRREEEE'nd SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZE! - Arianka doing absolutely nothing worthwhile in her life

Introduction[edit]

Arianka is the Goddess of discipline either militarily or maternal and is thus followed by her legion of fanboys and warriors. This would make her an enemy or girlfriend of Tzeentch and a potential would-be rival enemy of Khorne. Her and Tzeentch would be the perfect popular honor student and nerdish punk kid couple pairing. He likes causing chaos, being a troll and scheming (while playing Magic: the Gathering) while she's a prep kid and teacher's/principal's pet with a tsundere crush for the silly bad-boy geek. Probably why Tzeentch trapped her: he wants a super hot goddess of his own like Nurgle's but without feeling insecure.

The Tzeentch Incident[edit]

She is also Warhammer's Sleeping Beauty, this lazy bitch has been dozing off ever since Tzeentch found her to be a threat to his grand designs of lulz (which may have turned him on); he lured her and then trapped her inside of a coffin made of Laihtero, the rarest form of Gromril which resembles a crystal that constantly emits soft light (How the Goddess of Discipline fell for that, we have no fucking clue). Tzeentch then threw away the keys into the mortal planes and is now hidden somewhere like a really dickish game of Where's Waldo. The coffin itself was hidden beneath the city of Praag in Kislev which has lead some to speculate she might be the same entity as the Ancient Widow, the spirit which lead the Gospodar tribe to settle in Kislev. Her sword Laihtendrung was also made of Laihtero.

Essentially, being the embodiment of all Discipline everywhere, she spends an awful lot of time lying around doing nothing disciplinary in nature thanks to Tzeentch's machinations. Which pretty much explains why the world is in such a fucked up state and why the redshirts can't even be trusted to skip a step or pass by someone without breaking their neck or running screaming when a cloud covers the sun.

Kaleb Daark, Malal's Champion, was tasked with killing her to prove his worth. He was lead to her coffin (which Skaven had previously tried to destroy via flamethrowers) and endeavored to find the keys to kill her although this was chapter three of a four chapter series (the fourth was never released) so he likely didn't succeed. This plot was never brought up again because of legal issues involving Malal although it makes Arianka the last of the Chaos Gods of Law to be mentioned and thus the most canon of the three.

How the End Times might have effected Arianka can only be speculated at. Did she die when the old world got nommed by Chaos? Is her coffin and keys now floating around in space, or have fallen into the nine realms? Who knows, though since there hasn't been so much as a peep out of any of the Gods of Law in Age of Sigmar so far, odds aren't looking good.

The Chaos Gods of Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy
Four Main Chaos Gods: Khorne - Nurgle - Slaanesh - Tzeentch
Other Gods of Chaos: Archaon - Hashut - Horned Rat - Nuffle
Malal - Morghur - Necoho - Zuvassin
Chaos Gods of Law: Alluminas - Arianka - Solkan the Avenger